Those of you that have listened to some of my stories around the breakfast table are well aware of my ability to take a simple task and create a monster out of it. Well, here is another one to add to that long list! Every year at this time, for at least the past 20 years, we have been blessed with hundreds of cliff swallows returning to build their mud jugs on the inn and our house, which is about a hundred yards away. I should say first, that Karen’s view of the swallows returning and mine isn’t the same. She thinks we’re blessed. I, on the otherhand look at it with mixed feelings. After all, Karen’s not the one that has got to wash the windows (multiple times), climb up on the ladder to put the little birds back into their nest after they’ve fallen out (the record is three times), and, then knock down and clean up the nests when everybody has split to wherever it is that they go. I think you get my drift.
About tenyears ago I broke the swallows routine of returning to the B&B; of course, I then had to agree to let them all come up to our house to build their nests and raise their young. Well, little by little I’ve been putting plastic screening under the eaves to keep the swallows off certain areas of the house - like where I barbecue my ribs. (Karen actually agreed to that)
To get to the point, Karen went to Washington, DC for a couple of days a week or so ago, so she was not here when the big wave of birds arrived. I thought, great, this is my opportunity. I got together all my netting, staples, and ladders and proceeded to cover the eaves. After two-days, I had done it. Totally protected from mud nests and bird doo-doo. It was a great feeling! No longer would I have to chase our cats off the bed while they waited for the birds to commit suicide by crashing into the windows; which they never did. I mean, I had won. Finally!
I awoke the next morning at half-light, went to the window to check out what was happening outside, and what did I find. At least a million cliff swallows flying around the B&B. I mean they were putting mud under the eaves and anywhere else that might hold it. Gads! Here it was Friday morning and a full-house of guests was about to arrive for the weekend to find bird doo-doo all over everthing. Most notably the windows. Believe me, from experience, a lot of people may say their “green” and that animals have their rights, but when it comes to bird doo-doo, all bets are off.
Anyway, after another couple of days running outside and yelling at the birds and cursing my stupidity, I got smart. I went up to the house, climbed up on the roof and removed all the nets that had taken me two-days to put up. I had lost another one! What is it they say about mice and men?